Editor’s Note: Author Tammy Giovannini is a student in the fall 2010 Women’s Studies Program Special Topics course, That Chick is Crazy: Women and Madness, at The University of Akron.
But as she progresses up the aisle, you see something green poking out from under her dress. The groom seems to look lovingly at her, but on closer inspection his expression may actually be fear. The parents of the bride and groom seem to be relieved that this day is almost over.
Why is everyone so scared of this bride? Maybe it’s because she is a BRIDEZILLA, the girl who seems to suffer from temporary insanity over, of all things, her wedding.
What is it about weddings that turn women into bridezillas? Many things I am learning as I plan my own wedding can make any sane woman plead temporary insanity should someone press charges when she lashes out. Everything from staying within a budget to having the input of parents and friends can make one tick.
I used to dream of having a fairytale wedding. I wanted a white wedding in a rose garden wearing a replica of the dress from the Disney movie Beauty and the Beast. I wanted doves to fly as we sealed our vows with a kiss. I dreamed of a reception under the stars that had dancing, a feast fit for a queen and candles floating on the lake next to the dance floor.
Well, I added up my dream at one point in my life. The dress alone was $2,400. With everything else included I would have had to spend close to $10,000. My parents told me, “I love you, baby, but not that much.”
I knew they did love me, but even I had to admit, for one night the price was too high.
So here I am planning my daydream wedding. It’s not much better.
My fiancée and I are looking to get married in Florida. The marriage license there is $93.50. That’s a lot for a piece of paper that says “Yep, I will admit I chose him.”
Next we are picking the location. I found a lovely spot in the Keys that will cost $1,250 for a 1-hour ceremony, officiate included and limited decorations included, and a 30-minute period for pictures and cake.
Well, my parents like this place. It looks pretty and seems safe. My future mother-in-law tells me the place is pretty but asks, can the dogs be in the wedding? I don’t want dogs in my wedding. But she had them, so obviously I must want them too.
And if the dogs can’t be in the wedding, then who is going to be the flower girl and ring bearer? I laugh and say, “No one. I don’t want them.”
So moving on. We need rings. I have a platinum and white gold diamond ring; we need something to match it. My sweetheart thought the ring was as beautiful as I when he bought it. Now he realizes how much it is going to cost to get the bands that match. Rings for both of us it will cost $2,000. That is for simple bands that match my current ring.
We also need flowers. I want tropical ones to match my beach wedding. Of course those have to cost more than some roses. For birds of paradise and other exotic flowers, it will run roughly $250 for one bouquet, a boutonniere and four small arrangements at the place where we vow to spend the rest of our lives together.
My mom would rather we have roses. After all, that is my favorite flower, and they symbolize love.
Now at this resort we can spend an extra $250 and have dolphins bring us our rings. How cool is that. The kicker? The resort is not responsible if the dolphin loses or swallows the ring. Go figure.
Oh, and a dress. Now I do not want an expensive dress. I want a simple sun dress that I won’t have to worry about getting dirty. Nobody except me likes that idea. You have to have a dress. But why? You wear it once and put it in a box to collect dust. But it is sentimental. But I want something I can use again.
This is my wedding. I want it on a beach, with tropical flowers and our families there. When we get back we can have a reception.
My friends hate this idea. Why would I not include them in something so special? Because it is my wedding. That’s why. I felt it would be rude to say to them I am getting married in Florida, and I expect you to be there.
Maybe we should just elope.